Fire and silk
by Lolitaxo
Summary: An alternative look at Midnight. What if Damon hadn't gotten to Bonnie on time? bonnie/damon


a/n: Damon is a little OC in this, just a quick heads up.

-0-

"Microseconds stretched infinitely. Elena felt her eyes slowly getting wider, even though she knew they were flying open. She saw Stefan leisurely reach across her to try to twine his fingers around Bonnie's leg, even though she knew what she saw was a lightning-fast grab for the petite girls ankle. She even heard Damon's instantaneous telepathy: _no, little fool!_ as though he were speaking the words in his accustomed lazy tone of superiority.

Then, in slow motion, Bonnie's knees bent and she launched into the air above the circle..."

-0-

In the moments that passed, Damon would never be quite sure what happened. Even years, decades, centuries later he would still think often about what he could have done to prevent it- what he would have done, had he not been such a cowardly fool- and how exactly it actually did happen. He would have many broken down, disjointed fragments of variations, each different from the last- but each equally as disturbing- and, though they all haunted him on a nightly bases, one in particular struck him as the real version.

Or, at the very least, the most horrific.

Bonnie, still laughing merrily, completely oblivious to what would happen next, launched herself into the air- as light and birdlike as his nicknames for her suggested. He remembered Elena's shell-shocked expression then, and Stefan's horrified cry of, "Bonnie!" and then, most unusual, his own voice joining Stefan's in a chorus of anguish, echoing his little brothers words;

 _"Bonnie!"_

He's almost certain she tried to twist her head and look back at him, but by then it was far, far to late. The branch came out of nowhere, flying towards her with a sharp, precise whistling sound that sent chills up his spine and made the hairs in the back of his neck stand up straight. Bonnie's doe eyes widened as she realized the danger, and her lips shaped a perfect little 'O' as one of the branches- as barbed and deadly as was to be expected- hit her chest, knocking her into the center of the barren circle- impaling her into the ground.

For a moment, nobody moved. Nobody dared breath.

And then, almost in slow motion, Damon heard the shriek. It was anguished, so pain-ridden that surely the angels themselves shed a few tears at the sound of it, and then Elena was off- even to his own sharp eyes, a barely visible streak of white-lightning that shot straight across the clearing and collapsed by Bonnie's side.

He could hear Stefan next to him, choking on his own grief, but paid him only enough attention to make sure he wasn't hurt. Then, with the knowledge that his brother was physically unharmed, Damon darted after Elena.

In the second that it took him to arrive at her side, Damon realized that Bonnie was far past his- or anyone else s, for that matter- help.

She lay still on the ground, crimson locks spilling out around her like a halo of burning fire, her dark lashes casting shadows on her colorless cheeks. She could be sleeping, he thought with a small sigh, if it weren't for the deadly branch protruding out of her chest...

... the deadly branch that Elena was putting all of her strength into to pull out.

Damon, horrified, put a hand on her shoulder to stop her, but Elena was oblivious to him. She was crying, screaming, and still pulling at the branch.

"Open you're eyes Bonnie!" she cried, jarring the sleeping girls shoulder, "Stop being such a drama queen and open your eyes!"

Drama queen?

Damon, blanching a little, tightened his grip on Elena's shoulder- not enough to break bones, but enough to make her gasp in pain and, for even the shortest of moments, stop tugging at Bonnie. Her blue eyes were glowing with anger, with defiance, as she glared up at him and, in true testimony to the amount of time she had been spending around vampires, her upper lip curled in an furious snarl when Damon tried to pull her away.

"No!" she shrieked, fighting his grip, "Get off me! Bonnie!"

"Elena," he snarled back, shaking her hard enough to rattle bones, "You're not helping- look!" he gestured towards the deadly branch, making sure she took note of the barbs.

"If you pull that out of her chest, you're just going to..." he choked a little, "You're just going to dislodge chunks of her heart."

Slowly, gradually, realization dawned in Elena's eyes. She stopped struggling against Damon's hold and, instead, slumped against him, her gaze fixed on Bonnie's impaled chest- right where he heart would be.

"Bonnie.." she choked, complexion pale.

Tears streamed down her face, fell onto Damon's hands, but he hardly noticed. He only had eyes for Bonnie's motionless form. She looked so tiny, more child-like than ever, and so very, very alone. It broke the half of his heart that he hadn't even realized Bonnie owned until then... until it was too late.

"You can save her." Elena whispered hoarsely, struggling once more, "Give her your blood! Then she'll come back as a vampire!"

"She's already gone, love." Stefan's voice came from somewhere to the left of Damon, but he didn't have the energy to even look. All he could see was Bonnie- no longer jumping around and beaming at him, but so still and lifeless. It made him feel sick to his stomach.

"No!" Elena shot back, glaring at Stefan as he walked into her line of sight, "Can't you feel it? She's still alive!"

"Yes, but in tremendous pain. Look at her eyes, Elena." Stefan crouched beside Bonnie's shrunken form, smoothing her hair back from her face. Then, taking a deep gulp of uneeded air, he pulled back her eyelids.

Damon flinched back, as though struck with a blow, and felt his gut tighten as the sight in front of him. Because... because Bonnie's doe eyes, though blank for the most part, had a tinge of vile green rapidly spreading from the center of her pupils, outwards. The barbs, it would seem, had not just struck a death blow, but had injected poison into Bonnie's bloodstream, also.

As if proving Stefan's theory of her being in agony, the little witches tiny body suddenly arched upwards and then, with one final shudder, slumped back to the ground again. Was she truly dead this time? Damon didn't know. He only hoped she was- so that her suffering would end.

Elena shrieked again and, this time, not even Damon's steel grip on her could keep the angel girl away. She flew to Bonnie's side and, in an instant, had her cheek pressed against hers, murmuring softly to her.

Damon couldn't make out the words, as quite and muffled as they were, so he didn't know what she was saying to Bonnie, but he did know when she stopped talking- at least, outwardly. There was a quiet murmuring in his head, one so familiar that it made him stagger forward a few steps- just about remembering to dodge the deadly branches that encased Bonnie and Elena like a clever cage- towards the girls and, suddenly, he realized what Elena meant when she said that Bonnie was still here.

The little witch was communicating telepathically. Of course she was, clever girl.

"Damon..." Stefan's voice had a quiet warning in it.

Damon ignored him as he continued forward, dodging branch after branch. Eventually, after what felt like hours, he managed to get past the jungle of deadly branches and worm his way into the circle where the two girls lay- perfectly impassive, unaware of anything going on around them. And then, without really having any idea of what he was getting himself into, Damon reached out and placed a tentative hand on Elena's slight shoulder.

The response was almost instantaneous.

At first, he felt like he was falling. Falling, falling, falling, until time began to have no real meaning and he almost forgot the whole purpose of his being in this odd freefall place in the first place. Almost, but not quite. How could he forget, when the world of red that encased him was such a vivid reminder of the little redbird?

The walls around him- he didn't quite think that was somehow a very good word for them, since normal walls didn't usually shimmer brightly with glitter that reminded him of a fair maidens unshed tears, and shift in and out of existence every few seconds- were a bright, burning shade of crimson that gave him the most unsettling feeling of being swallowed whole by rivers of fire.

His arms flailed, trying to reach for something with enough substance for his fingers to grasp onto, but he found no relief.

Finally, after an infinitely long period of time, Damon landed on the ground with a soft oomph!. The impact left him winded- though surely not as bad as it could have been, since the floor was made up of a material so soft and silken that he had the distinct impression of being rocked back and fourth in an ocean of silk. He was on his feet in a matter or seconds, surveying his surroundings with an appropriate amount of alarm.

Was this what Bonnie's mind looked like?

He watched for a moment, highly amused, as a small paper bird figure- origami?- floated past his head, wings flapping furiously. A song of the sweetest kind escaped its paper beak and Damon found himself smiling softly, mesmerized. Why had Bonnie never shown him this when he drunk her blood? It was a paradise all of it's own- different from that of the Kitsunes, but certainly just as interesting.

"Damon?"

He turned sharply at the sound of his name, barely daring to breath when he found himself face-to-face with a pair of smiling brown eyes.

"I thought I heard you laughing." Bonnie said, smiling despite the constant shivers that wracked her petite body.

"I was laughing?" he asked, fighting to keep his voice steady.

Bonnie tried to bob a nod but, instead, coughed, doubled over, and began to spit up blood. Damon caught her when her legs buckled, cursing colorfully in Italian. What was this _damned_ poison doing to her?

The collapsed together on the ocean of silk, Damon's legs tucked under him, Bonnie curled up on his lap. She rubbed her head against his shoulder, small whimpers escaping her blood stained lips.

Damon rubbed her awkwardly on the back and rested his chin on top of her head. It was left unspoken between the two that every shudder that went through her, every cry that erupted from her chest, stuck in Damon's heart like thousands of tiny wooden splinters.

After sometime of silence- only occasionally interrupted by Bonnie's cries of pain- the little witch began to relax a little, loosening up in Damon's arms. Her breathing became a little more regular and, after a pause, she even began to talk to him.

"I'm sorry, Damon." she whispered, doe eyes swimming with tears. "I'm so silly."

"I don't think you're silly," he said, voice firm, "I think you're anything but silly, Redbird."

That coaxed a smile out of her, albeit a weak one. "You missed Elena. She left just as soon as you came."

Damon shook his head. Right now, Elena was the farthest thing from his mind. Bonnie, for once, was front and center- but then, how could she not be with those bruise like shadows under her eyes, and the small trickle of blood forming at the crease of her mouth?

"I don't care." he murmured, voice just as soft as Bonnie's. Tentatively, he brushed a few strands of stray curls out of her eyes and tried to quirk her a smile, "I came here to spend time with you, Redbird."

Bonnie looked devastated, "And yet here I am, sick and so _terribly_ sleepy. I'm sorry Damon. I'm really not much company at all."

"That's alright," he soothed, rubbing her back, "You rest. Just... let me hold you for a moment."

Bonnie's smile was radiant- despite the pain she was feeling- and it made Damon's chest hurt that little bit more. Oh, how he was going to miss that smiling little face.

"I wish I could sleep. I don't think I've ever felt so contented in my entire life," she smiled at him, shy all of a sudden, "But, oh, I wonder if you could do me a favor, Damon? Just a small one?"

"Of course, Redbird. Whatever you need."

He watched, mesmerized by the odd core of strength that was shining from her, inside out, as Bonnie pushed herself into a sitting position. Positioning her arms on either side of Damon's thighs, she heaved her small body upwards so that her back was rested against his chest and she was essentially sitting upwards.

Her chest heaved from the exertion and her eyebrows were knitted tightly together, the small trickle of blood coming out of her mouth becoming more pronounced. Damon, alarmed, rubbed her back when she went into another fit of violent coughing and whispered the most soothing words he could remember in her ear.

At one stage, as her coughing became more serious and the blood stained silk beneath them progressively grew darker in color, he became so desperate that her began to sing one of the old lullaby his mother used to soothe him with when he was a very young human child- just a baby, really. His memory, as good as it was, couldn't quite recall all of the words and the few that he did manage to remember he wasn't so sure were accurate.

He felt foolish, stumbling over the words and tripping over the english translations, but it appeared to calm the little redbird. Bonnie's breathing became that little more regular, the pain in her limbs seemed to lessen considerably, and her coughing resided to small whimpers that jerked out of chest. Damon quieted when he felt she was well enough and, almost embarrassed, glanced down at her.

She smiled up at him, lashes heavy against her cheeks and her hooded eyes appeared to almost glow.

"That was beautiful." she whispered, "Where did you learn it?"

"My mother," he responded softly, coughing slightly to cover his awkwardness, "She used to sing it to me when I was a child. I'm not sure if I translated very accurately, though." he shrugged, "At least it made you feel better. Now, what of this favor?"

"I need you to tell them goodbye, Damon." Bonnie said timidly. Her brown eyes glazed over with tears, but she seemed determined to keep them at bay and squeezed his hand for apparent support, "I need you tell each of them- _yes_ , you wicked boy, even Matt- that I love them all. And, well, could you give them some messages, please?"

The determined glint in her eyes didn't care for refusals. Before he even had chance to nod in agreement, Bonnie's blood stained lips were moving at a rapid pace. He had to listen carefully to decipher the words.

"Tell Meredith that the shirt she thought she lost? The one I said I didn't have? It's in my closet, at the very, very back. Tell her to wear it when Alaric comes back and asks her out for dinner. She's going to need to look composed, even if she doesn't feel it." A smile pulled her mouth up at the corners.

"Tell Matt that he was the brother that I never had. Tell him that I'm going to miss his hugs terribly. Oh, and tell him to call Gwen. She's a catch and he shouldn't wait too long."

"Tell Stefan that I'm terribly sorry I never got to draw him like I promised to. He would have made a great model. Tell him I said to stop being so afraid. He'll know what you mean." she blew out a shakey breath of air.

"Caroline... tell her I love. No matter what. And that I forgive her- that's important. She should know that."

Her eyelids were becoming heavier, her words slurred and, alarmed, Damon clutched her tighter to him and began to murmur in her ear quietly.

"The goodbyes, redbird?" he prompted, "The messages?"

"Mrs Flowers," she whispered, snuggling deeper into Damon's arms. The pain seemed to have ebbed somewhat and sleepiness appeared to have taken it's place," Tell her she's the best mentor a girl could ask for. I learned a lot from her and I'm extraordinarily grateful."

The pause this time was so long that Damon surely thought he would go mad with the suspense. He bit his lip, ground his teeth, cursed under his breath, but Bonnie for the longest of moments appeared to be concentrating solely on breathing.

"Don't I get a goodbye?" he whispered, mainly to himself really, but Bonnie heard anyway. He eyelashes fluttered and with apparent difficulty, she gazed up at Damon.

There was tears in her eyes.

"Oh, Damon." she said softly, reaching up to place one dainty little hand against his cheek. Her touch was ice cold. "Of course you do."

Then, with a tenderness that broke his heart, she pulled his head down closer to hers. Their breath mingled and Bonnie touched her nose to Damon's, rubbing it affectionately.

"I know you love Elena." she said quietly, "But I don't care. I have to tell you." Their lips brushed. Just a soft, innocent touch but Damon felt it all the way down to his core.

"I love you, Damon."

Chest aching, he leaned down to close the distance between the two of them.

"I love you too, Redbird." He whispered softly, meaning every word.

He kissed her long and deep, pouring all of the affection he could into it. Bonnie gasped beneath him, mewling with pleasure and, feebly, she reached up to twine her fingers in his hair. Damon sighed. He didn't think he'd ever felt so at peace before, so utterly accepted. The kiss was warm and sweet, soft, filled with unspoken words and declarations that they would never get the chance to share with each other.

He could have kissed her for eternity.

Eventually though, Bonnie broke it with a soft cry, looking up at Damon with tear filled eyes. He cursed.

"Damon." she whispered, "I can't stay."

"I know, redbird." he planted a feather-light kiss on her forehead, "I know. Why don't you close your eyes for a little while? Just... rest."

Bonnie nodded her head, eyes shinning sadly. "Okay, Damon. I'll sleep. But..." she hesitated.

"What is it?"

She glanced at him shyly from under her lashes. "Will you sing until I fall asleep?"

The request shocked him, but with Bonnie staring at him so sadly he had no time to even attempt to deny her anything. Tucking her head under the crook of his neck, he began to hum his mothers old lullaby and found solace when he felt Bonnie's small frame quiver slightly and relax against him completely. Letting his own eyes slip closed, he held her slender frame a little tighter and paused his song for the briefest of moments, leaning down to place a small kiss on her neck. There was no pulse.

Without further warning, Damon felt himself being ripped out of Bonnie's head.

The last thing he can recall is the image of silk catching fire.

-0-

a/n: Not a fan of this ending, but meh. Apparently the inner angsty teenager in me wanted to come out and play for a bit and this was the result. In an ideal world, they totally would have been together- but, alas.

I always liked the idea of looking deeper into Damon's fucked up mentality of not actually wanting something until it's totally out of his reach- boy is a hot damn mess, if you ask me- and this was the result. Long time in the making, because it seemed like a great idea at the time, but WB has been killing me for awhile now, so it's about two years late, hahaha.

Anyway, let me know what you think of this and if you want to see some more weird, angst Bamon plotlines.

Thanks for reading!

-Lolita


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